Secret Commute Bike Race Club

The first rule of Secret Commute Bike Race Club is that you don’t talk about it! Well OK then.

This is the food chain……

1. Scooters
2. Single speed fixed hub
3. Single Speed
4. Roadies with shaved legs – like girls
5. Roadies with hairy legs – like men
6. Touring Bikes (Mud Guards)
7. “Fast Hybrids”
8. MTBs on Skinnies
9. MTBs on Nobblies
10. Bromptons / collapsing bikes
11. MTB full sus on Nobblies
12. Shoppers
13. Shoppers wicker baskets
14. Electric bikes

Dropping / Pulling anyone higher in the food chain makes you stronger and more attractive to burds. Getting dropped / trying to keep up with anyone lower means your soul hires a kudos remover to lower your self worth.

Dropping one person above class equals +1
Being dropped by a person in below class equals -1
Dropping or being dropped by person in same class equals +/- 0

but the key is that you should show no outward signs of putting any effort in. This is the same as admitting you’re racing.

Also the heirachy of clothing:

1. helmet, Lycra, little bike cap and shades
2. full Lycra/helmet/wraparound
3. messenger outfit
4. fakenger outfit
5. cycling shorts and t-shirt
6. jeans/t-shirt
7. tweed suit
8. pinstriped suit

Dropping one person above class equals +1
Being dropped by a person in below class equals -1
Dropping or being dropped by person in same class equals +/- 0

(rules referenced from bikeradar discussion)

Personally I live basically in the sticks on the edge of town and cycle through the country side to work and rarely have the chance to own another cyclist but I love it when I do.

My best score is a commute to college a few weeks ago and I was riding MTBs on Nobblies and i passed a Roadies with shaved legs – like girls & 2 Touring Bikes (Mud Guards) so a +3 score I felt like a cycling god!

Anyone got any scores from their commutes / rides?

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2 Responses

  1. My weekend commutes totals are:

    Saturday
    +5 (overtook scooter and roadie with shaved legs and cars at traffic lights due to it changing just at the right time for me to pass everyone and then turn off so none passed me again!)
    Sunday
    +1 (passed roadie with shaved legs)

  2. Although I came across several riders on my commute yesterday, all of them were either on the sidewalk or walking in the cross walk – except for one (and the guy who turned onto a side street right after I spotted him). The one rider I mention was traveling in the same direction as me, but he was riding facing traffic on the wrong side of the road. I’m not sure how to score this…

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