The Grey Hound Syndrome.

What is it about cyclists?

Why do we have to do it?

Are we all ultra competitive, and this is why we ride bikes to engage in impromptu races?

When you come round a corner or turn at a junction and spot a fellow cyclist in front what do we do?

Now don’t lie you do it too!

We turn from a happy cyclist to a mad eyed, prize winning, grey hound seeking that rabbit on rails with every sinew of our being.

We must catch them!!

Concern for whether they are on a fast bike than us (mountain vs road on tarmac is usually a given) is irrelevant & extra points are awarded for passing a roadie whilst riding a MTB.

Ears are pinned back, the legs build up to racing pace…. Must… catch… cyclist …..

Now this could be over in 30 seconds if the cyclist in front is old father time on his shopping trip basket, flat cap & all!

Or it could be the race of your life.

You either catch them or you don’t. If you don’t you be ashamed of your self and you definitely need to ride more. I always catch the “rabbit”.

(Read: I got owned by a roadie every day for 3 weeks last year!)

The thing is the “rabbit” cyclist usually has no idea that they are in fact the “rabbit” so they carry on at their happy pace until you catch them and pass them.

This brings up two new issues.

  1. You must not pass the “rabbit” breathing out of your arse, exhausted & half hanging off the bike otherwise they’ll pass you within seconds. Laughing at you! (you have your bike taken away and crushed for such shameful behaviour) So you need hang on their back wheel for a bit to get your breath back then pass them. I just fly past them at full speed because compared to me Lance Armstrong is a sissy
  1. The transition from “rabbit” to “greyhound”.

If you have just passed the “rabbit” you are now it! They, because they are a cyclist will probably give chase! So you really need to keep it going for as long as possible until you are breathing out of your arse, exhausted & half hanging off the bike. Anything less is not permitted and we will find out!

This morning I went for a longer cross country ride & explore of my local area. I forgot to fill up my water bottle before I left so by the time I hit the tarmac on the way to the office I was shagged!

This did not stop me beasting myself whilst chasing a guy who passed me on his road bike. I did catch, draft and over take him. Him on the footpath and me on the grass verge pedalling like the clappers grinning as we raced each other to the bottom of the hill.

We raced I was forced to concede due to the lamp post in my way & not wanting to force him onto the road.

I’m a pussy I know!

HM

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2 Responses

  1. You just explained every ride I go on.

  2. Dominic does that shit too. It’s embarressing. Every single one he wins.

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